January 30, 2004
Nosebleed Section

everyone enjoys a little fun with referrer logs once in a while. mine are kind of boring because they never really change. ou always sucks, and carlos spencer is always hot, so googlers just pretty much keep those two topics right at the top of the list. there's one weird search that i find less frequently, but regularly, which is bewildering. i posted on 13 march 2002 about an incident at a mrs. fields stand (and haven't eaten at one since). i called it: "o mall worker, satan's minion." i have actually gotten searches for this exact text, which makes me think a lot of people must have really bad experiences at the mall.

i wonder if my story makes people feel better, or worse?

Posted by ash at 04:04 PM

January 25, 2004
Vote Michael Badnarik for President

this looks like i am continuing my political theme from yesterday, but i wasn't trying to. i was really just trying to add something to my amazon wishlist so people could buy me things. but anyway.

what the fu.. ok, another thing. i am going to stop saying the f word so much.

what is up with amazon.com? obviously they are going to merge with google soon and together they will control the flow of all knowledge and goods, but who decides how they should go about it? at first the other stuff they were selling made sense: magazines, newspapers, those are kind of like books. music...well, ok. then they start adding all these other stores. buying slim-fast and cookware on amazon.com didn't really seem related to books anymore, but still it seemed kind of cool that you could register for your wedding or baby while you were shopping for a bestseller. i tried once to figure out if the stores on there were related at all... babies-r-us, target, etc. i lost interest. but anyway, tonight i noticed something new and *weird*.

you can donate money to your favorite presidential candidate on amazon.com!!

"Amazon.com takes the friction out of grass roots contributions to presidential candidates. A 1-Click payment is the easiest way to make a contribution -- from $5 to $200."

a 1-click payment! and they have a bunch of candidates on there that i have never even heard of. this is the first clear step toward world domination that i have seen on the part of amazon.com. you can see that they are keeping a clear tally of how much dosh and how many people are donating through their site. when candidate X gets elected President, amazon.com wants to make sure he remembers that he owes them one.

Posted by ash at 07:53 PM

January 24, 2004
YEEAGH!

the house is quiet. again. darling roommate has gone to new hampshire. to knock on doors, i guess. or call people? whatever it is the dean people do when they "get out the vote." last week he went to iowa. you know what happened in iowa, right? in any case, DR has been so busy working on this campaign, he has only had time to post to his site twice since august - and both times have been about dean, dean, dean, dean - like everything else around here. he goes to meetings at least six times a week, writes letters, works on the website, he even forced me to embroider howard dean's name on a baseball jersey in the middle of the night. it's all gotten completely out of control, although i am quite concerned that any sudden change in velocity could be hazardous for our household. i do wish that we could have a president with the passion of howard dean. honestly, listen to this man!

Posted by ash at 01:13 PM

January 23, 2004
Assorted

ok, now. a couple of things i have been forgetting to tell you about. i went to salt lake city for the holidays. it's in utah. i know, i have a hard time remembering anything that's not on the east coast, too. but it was cool. and the answer is yes. i saw mormon stuff while i was there. but i also drank a lot, so as long as you get memberships to all the clubs where the bad kids hang out, you can do ok in salt lake city.

some of the things i have done are amazing but super secret. some are not. here are some things that are not:

i saw the trachtenburg family slideshow players on new year's eve in brooklyn. the band before the tfsp was yelling about having too many socks.

i went to the top of the empire state building for the first time in my whole life! i got a lighter which commemorates this event. the person i was with knew more about the view than the audio guide.

i entered all my checks into quicken for the month and my account was completely balanced! apparently there was still the same amount of money as when i don't really pay attention, though.

saw ayn rand's "night of jan 16th" (which is reviewed here - with great photos - by brent murray) as presented by sarah zimmitti's objectivist theatre company.

i went to the hudson hotel for a drink. usually when i am someplace like that, i am thinking, "who the fuck hangs out at places like this?" and then i realised, we have been here at least three or four times. *he* does.

what does that mean?

Posted by ash at 05:07 PM

January 07, 2004
Ichigoichie

today, my country was ranked "most liberal" in all of zealandia, which means "citizens...enjoy a great amount of civil rights, or freedoms to go about their personal business without interference or regulation from government." which i think is a good thing, but when i go to my country every day, my "civil rights" rating always says "excessive." i wonder what someone is trying to tell me. my economy is a "powerhouse" and my political freedoms are "excellent", so i wonder what could be the problem.

The Free Land of Ichigoichie is a huge, economically powerful nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 204 million enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

There is no government in the normal sense the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defence, and Commerce. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Soda Sales industries.

Citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes, shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities, the government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups, and X-Files ratings have hit an all-time low. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling. Ichigoichie's national animal is the Ahi Tuna, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Nat Sherman Cigarette.

Ichigoichie is ranked 1st in the region and 1,157th in the world for Most Liberal Nations.

Posted by ash at 07:56 PM

January 04, 2004
OU SUCKS OU SUCKS OU SUCKS

finally! time for another OU SUCKS post. i considered making one after their humiliating defeat in the big 12 championship game, but i could just feel that something even better was coming up.

LSU beats OU 21-14 after leading entire game...jason white sacked on his final possesion. sweet! he's glad heisman voting was over before he played this tragic game.

i hope you were all watching the sugar bowl tonight! OU played for the national championship - they didn't really deserve to after that lame-ass loss to K-State at the end of the season, but oh well - and they choked when it really counted, as usual. as you look back over the vast plains of history, there are very few occasions that this has not happened. but still, it thrills every time because they seem so completely and arrogantly convinced of their invincibility whenever another moment of truth approaches! it's charming, it's amusing, they are idiots. OU SUCKS.

and for all you OU FANS who will want to post rude comments in the coming days, please try at least to check your spelling and grammar. nothing is more embarrassing than having to edit swear words for some poor redneck who ostensibly has gone to college in my home state. for god's sake, read over your comment before you submit it.

in other news, oklahoma state also lost their bowl game, i can't remember which one it was. something of no consequence. and my other alma mater? i don't think they were in one.

Posted by ash at 12:00 AM