December 24, 2003
Buy Something

have been busy busy shopping, wrapping gifts, planning my trips away for the holiday, and so on. i can never understand people that *complain* so much about the season, about the chaos which seems inherent during this time of year. i enjoy the time between thanksgiving and christmas possibly more than any other. it makes me happy to find the perfect gift. it makes me happy when it snows. i can't *wait* for the cheerful music and elaborate decorations in every shop.

tibor machan recently wrote a fabulous article, which appeared on solohq.com, titled "meanings of christmas revisited." it was written in response to emma thompson's recent comments about the commercialisation of christmas, and her decision to ban gifts from her holiday this year. tibor says:

"I have this wish that we be spared this year all the talk about how Christmas is turning into a commercial orgy, how people so shamelessly indulge their desires, whims, and materialistic concerns and thus forget the true, spiritual meaning of the season."

"When the world is clamoring for a better life, when we are wringing our hands about unemployment, hunger, destitution and sickness, let us for once admit that what we really want is for everyone to buy a great deal and produce a lot. Why shouldn't Christmas be a time to want more and better and to resolve to do what is necessary to get it-earn more, work harder, produce and create?"

"...We should flaunt the fact that we like life here on earth. We should indulge, sensibly, but unashamed. We should enjoy all there is to give, to take, to play with, to use, and think of what we might have next. That is the way the world can be better fed and housed, become more healthy and even wiser, since the time required to gain wisdom is affordable only when one has some wealth."

on that note, i received the gabriel garcia marquez book "love in the time of cholera" from my secret santa a few days ago. thank you! it came from my amazon.com wishlist, which still has plenty to choose from if you want to generate some joy for yourself by sending me a gift.

Posted by ash at 01:20 PM

December 22, 2003
R&R If You Can Afford It

from the operation hero miles website:

In September 2003, the Pentagon started giving soldiers stationed in Iraq two-week leaves in the largest R & R program since the Vietnam War. Soldiers on R & R or Emergency Leave are flown by the military to Germany or three airports in the United States, Baltimore/Washington, (BWI), Dallas/FortWorth, (DFW), or Atlanta, (ATL ) for free.

The soldiers have been responsible for flights the rest of the way in the U.S. to their destinations, until Congress provided funding for this purpose on November 3, 2003. However, this funding is not yet available and may not be sufficient for all the troops or troops on "Emergency Leave".

i got an email this morning from moveon.org about a program created by congressman dutch ruppersberger (D-MD) called "operation hero miles." this program accepts donations of unused frequent flyer miles and transfers them to soldiers who have been given leave but no way to get home. twelve airlines are currently participating, and many have made large miles donations to get things started.

i have thousands of miles lying around on airlines that i travel on infrequently, and they are useless to me as i never accumulate enough to score any award travel. i called this morning to donate 10,000 miles from my american airlines advantage account, and the woman on the phone said that she had just processed 12 tickets for soldiers this morning using the hero miles program. that made me feel better than any gift i have given so far this year.

Posted by ash at 03:55 PM

Aqua Culture

my aquarium is like a weird science experiment. i mean, i appreciate it and all, but with the amount of time i spend away from home i'm not a real good aquarist (??) who checks the chemicals and stuff all the time. i did at first, i was convinced that if i didn't do it every few days everything in there would be poisoned and die. but then i was on a trip and let it go for a few days, and when i came home everything was fine. after a while i stopped checking anything much at all. once all the water turned a hideous green and i just knew that when i got it cleared up all my fish would be floating at the top. nope, they were happy as, well, clams. now i have moved into a different room from the one where the aquarium lives, and i don't think my roommate (who lives in there now) really ever feeds them. so once in a while i pop in and put in some food. still, everybody seems perky. i think with all my neglect i might be raising a super-hardy school of fish, and no matter what i do they will live. most of the tank residents are about two years old. that seems like a long time for a bunch of little tetras to live. and i haven't even told you everything yet.

one fish in my tank only has one eye. he was that way when i got him. i bought him and about four others (he's a glo-light tetra) two summers ago, and when i saw him in the bag, i told the clerk to give me another one because of his eye situation. he did, and when i tried to give him back, he told me to just keep him because he would die in a couple of days anyway. he's still here. he is the fastest guy in the colony, and possibly the most skillful. with only one eye, he has to go about eating in a very competitive way. he swims around until he spots a piece of food in the water with his good eye, then he turns 180 degrees and grabs it really fast. it has to be really fast or else another fish will get it and he won't know because he can't see it.

another fish in my tank i also tried to give back when i got him. he is a serpae tetra and he has no fin on top, just a short little piece of stringy flesh. i made the fish guy give me a replacement, and once again he said to keep the gimp because he'd die soon. two years later, the only sign that he's got a bad fin is that he wobbles back and forth when he swims.

finally, and what made me think to post this, is my fat harlequin. when i got this little fish he was a bit round. nothing to make me think he was sick, he just had a round belly when all the other fish are nice and flat. i thought maybe it had babies in there or something, but months later, it looked about the same, maybe a little bigger. fast forward two years, he's started getting insanely large. now i am worried that he has a tumor or something. i watched him for a while today and it is like a little marble with eyes and a tail. he needs a lesson from one-eye, because he's having trouble getting food. when he tries to swim he kinda goes in a circle. i am afraid the end is near for fatty. i will be sad, he will be the first of my little colony of crippled fish to bite the dust.

Posted by ash at 12:50 AM

December 18, 2003
Frothy Mix

i hope this isn't too upsetting for anyone.

way back in may, dan savage readers began a campaign to redefine the word "santorum" in an effort to make clear their feelings about a senator by the same name. of course i have heard darling roommate laugh about it on occasion, but he is practically a communist. i never thought i would hear any normal person using this term in conversation.

well. i did.

i visited the official santorum website today and i have to admit that i am following the logic. firstly, the senator is an offensive ass. secondly, it's a good and useful word. some readers pointed out that there are already some slang terms which serve the same purpose, but who could argue with:

"Duck butter and love gravy sound like products you spread on toast points and pour over mashed potatoes, respectively, before putting them in your mouth to chew and swallow. Santorum, on the other hand, sounds like something you need to get out your sheets and/or out of the U.S. Senate pronto."

amen.

Posted by ash at 11:15 PM

December 13, 2003
I Don't Hate NY

i am starting to like it. especially when i look at things like this: new york songlines, an intricate series of totems and landmarks to keep you situated as you journey through the urban atmosphere. it comes from the aboriginal song cycles that the native australians used to navigate through the desert. a bit more complicated than the subway... or maybe not. more interesting in any case.

this nysite is a bit less interesting because it only covers about three blocks. but they are very nice blocks, and it's a good idea if they would ever finish the project. let's get to it, ny westside project people!

i was looking for a place to play skee-ball in nyc, and i found what must be the weirdest place i've ever seen. even though i never found skee-ball, this place has house of the dead 2, jurassic park lost world, police trainer, and something called whack-a-mayor, which i can only assume is the same as the mole game. maybe i have to wait for summer and the beach for skee-ball.

Posted by ash at 04:05 PM

December 08, 2003
Lost and Found

this weekend, my friend lost his hat. it was a great hat, with a sort of snowflake pattern and a tail on the back. and it came from somewhere far away so is not easily replaced. it was lost on a trip to hoboken, so it really could have been anywhere.

he seemed kind of lost without it. he called all the places he'd been, but noone had seen it. he called a couple of times.

this hat has been lost before. on thanksgiving eve, it was left in a bar, but as soon as it was discovered missing he called and it had been found. we walked a long way to get it back. those were happy times.

last night, i was stuck in 30th St. station in philadelphia for a while, and while i was walking outside for a cigarette i saw a hat on the ground. i thought that if i picked it up and brought it to the lost-and-found, maybe in the mysterious ways of the world someone would also return my friend's hat. but just as i was a few steps away, a guy pointed to it and his friend picked it up and stuffed it in his pocket. he already had a pretty good hat on, but he also took someone's lost hat. i watched him and he didn't go to lost and found. i think the hat lives somewhere else now. so now i think that is what must have happened to the snowflake hat. maybe it lives in hoboken now.

Posted by ash at 07:14 PM

December 04, 2003
It's Good To Be King

motivated by glenn, i created my own country in the nationstates online simulation.

and of course, my country is kicking ass!

civil rights: superb
economy: very strong
political freedoms: excellent

The Free Land of Ichigoichie is a small, economically powerful nation, notable for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 18 million enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

Posted by ash at 11:56 PM

December 01, 2003
Rockin The Suburbs

ok, i will stop posting things that other people have written and tell you about something that actually happened to me. some things.

i spent my thanksgiving (four-delicious-days-of-)holiday 100 miles north of here. my holiday was lovely! unfortunately, much of it must remain secret, because a.) it is too tacky and embarrassing to tell, b.) it is not the sort of thing you post about on the internet, especially on a site your father reads, c.) it is so fragile and beautiful that to try to tell it would never work.

but here's the rest:

amtrak was full of holidaymakers. i rode the commuter train. both ways.

i saw this guy thoth in central park. whoa!

the ice skating rink at rockefeller center is not as big as it looks on t.v.

there *are* still bars where you can smoke in nyc. who knew? some people do. some people know about them all.

i walked for two hours looking for a christmas tree stand. i had to go to k-mart. in new york city! go martha.

ben folds is truly the universal musician. who doesn't like ben folds?

Posted by ash at 10:17 PM

Boo, Terrorism

Global Eye -- Naked Gun
By Chris Floyd

Don't kid yourself -- and don't let them kid you. When they come at you with that pious sugar, telling you how they're going to protect you, secure you, keep you free, you better run and check the back door – because that's where their goons will be breaking in.

Last week, the U.S. Congress approved an expansion of FBI powers that will allow Attorney General John Ashcroft's federal police to arbitrarily seize records from a range of private businesses without bothering a judge or grand jury with any silly-billy nonsense about evidence or even suspicion of criminal intent. All Ashcroft's boys have to do is say, "Boo! Terrorism!" and they can take whatever they want.

Posted by ash at 10:55 AM