May 26, 2003
That Reeks
NZ crimefighters could take a clue from these LAPD cops. Or perhaps NZ crims are used to the smell.
Los Angeles police armed with a smelly New Zealand cream have formed a "skunk squad" to drive criminals from their favourite haunts.
The sheriffs have forced drug-dealers, prostitutes and arsonists from derelict buildings and a motorway underpass using SkunkShot, a fetid ointment they bought over the internet from Victoria University.
Posted by ash at 07:00 PM
May 24, 2003
Carlos!
the title of this article is "Spencer leads Blues to Super 12 victory." that's right, my carlos. led the blues. to victory. to super 12 victory. did i make my usual boasts, write any poetry or other odes to his greatness? no, there's been nary a carlos post in over a year. weary of being mocked for adoring this man even though he hadn't been selected for an all-blacks roster in 3 years, when the time came to pick a team for the super 12 final this year, i decided to believe in the power of the history. love had let me down. i put up a packet of toffee pops *against* the magic man, carlos spencer.
but carlos led the blues to super 12 victory. even without me. someone whose authority i trust told me that at the end of the game he fell to his knees and cried out my name. assuming that his stellar performance this season will put him back in black, there's still time for me to support him this year. i will stay up all night to watch carlos play tri-nations rugby, if i have to. i can't believe i actually bet against him.
sorry carlos!
update (sunday/monday): carlos - in! girls blouse andrew mehrtens - out! (ha. ha. ha.) and also out - christian cullen! (sorry ladies.)
in other news, several blues players were involved in a post-game altercation at spy bar. while two players lost their cool, stuff.co.nz reports that carlos was diplomatically trying to "smooth things over." what a man!
Posted by ash at 07:50 PM
May 21, 2003
Star Wars Kid
every third conversation in this household lately starts with "you know that star wars kid...?"
if you don't know what that means, good for you. you probably have a life. and live somewhere outside of this house.
but if you know who this kid is, you know that when mean kids put an embarrassing video of him up on the internet, geeks everywhere said "he is one of us!" they decided to raise money to buy an ipod, and the funds began to pour in. and kept pouring in. they are now over $4000! no boobies were shown in this fundraiser!
after a strict "no star wars kid" pact, my dear roommate broke down tearfully to confide over dinner that he had sent in a donation. i spilled hot tea all over his lap. my roommate was laid off from his job in october! ok, he didn't cry. and i didn't spill tea. i just laughed at him.
what makes people send $4000 to that kid just because he did an embarrassing dance with a stick? does sending in your $10 absolve you for being a geek when you were a kid? if i write a check will i forget about all the times i've felt like an idiot in the past? and can anyone guarantee it will never happen again?
Posted by ash at 10:18 PM
May 09, 2003
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
recently simon and alex at malpractice were concerned that so many people reached their site searching for a lawyer - a completely understandable mistake. these are the things people are looking for when they find strangecurrency.com:
1. "ou+sucks"
2. "duke+sucks"
i don't think anyone will be disappointed if they are searching for these terms, actually, because ou sucks and duke sucks, and you can find that out anywhere.
3. "rita's+water+ice"
if you live at my house, you are basically equidistant from two rita's water ice houses, one is in frazer on rt. 30, and one in downingtown just off rt. 113, uh, also on rt. 30. for the lady that asked me about franchising, i don't know, but i bet it's expensive.
4. "beth+eggers"
if you came here to find out if beth eggers is dead, you will be disappointed, because i don't know either. the whole point of that post is that i was thinking about how weird it was that people thought about things like that.
5. "john+freyer"and/or "all+my+life+for+sale" and/or "great+old+box"
you will never be disappointed if you came here to find out about john freyer and the great old box. it's my favorite thing to talk about. you might have to look around a little, though. when you search for "john+freyer" the first link that comes up is his own site. go to that. it's a lot better.
i guess i will retire "strongbad+email" from the list. now that he is so popular i don't think i am very high on the list anymore, and i don't get too many visitors from searches for strongbad. goodbye, homestar runner fans!
Posted by ash at 11:53 AM
May 08, 2003
Great Old Interview
John Freyer, who sold his stuff on ebay and then wrote a book called All My Life For Sale, will talk about the project on Conan O'Brian tonight on NBC. Tune in if you're near a television, John Freyer is an interesting person to see interviewed - he is extremely passionate about the things he works on. Which I believe is what compelled me to pay him $20 for an empty box.
Posted by ash at 08:02 AM
May 04, 2003
l33t haxx3r
this week, SOLOHQ.com was hacked on the very same day that my article appeared. coincidence, or the forces of darkness trying to keep the world from seeing my work? you decide.
Posted by ash at 06:42 PM
May 01, 2003
i'm not tired
i should warn you
i go to sleep
i know you don't
know what i mean
yet
i get upset or happy
i go to sleep
nothing hurts when
i go to sleep
but i'm not tired
i'm not tired
you won't know when
i go to sleep
because i'm not tired
i'm not tired
i just sleep
narcolepsy - ben folds
Posted by ash at 06:33 PM