Happy Birthday, Patrick

since i just ran my mouth about marriage last time, why don't i continue my recent string of repetitive posts and mention it again today?

this morning when i returned to the office after an absence of oh, two weeks or so, i expected lots of things: a desk piled up with files that needed tending, message light flashing, mailbox filled with things to be signed, couple hours' worth of email to read. but the first thing i saw when i turned on my computer was this little pop-up reminder from outlook:

Patrick's Birthday

this would be unremarkable, except that patrick and i have been divorced for the better part of a decade and haven't spoken in about that long. and by god, i think i'd have remembered it if all the computers i had sat in front of for all the years in between had been reminding me about his birthday every july 29. so where did this come from? i clicked on the reminder and it told me that it had been set last october. i wondered what had made me decide to remember patrick's birthday last october, before coming to my senses and figuring out that i had synched all the dates from my handspring then and it must have been in there from some time long ago. but then, as i turned that over in my head, i realised that i only got the handspring in 1998. so even then something made me enter that date that i knew i'd never use into my pda.

on july 29th of my 29th year, it's hard to believe that in an alternate version of my life i might have been enjoying my tenth year of wedded bliss instead of hoping for just one interesting date before i turn 30.

ok, that's a bit dramatic. i have plenty of interesting dates. what i was really, secretly hoping for, though, was that i would be involved in an intense, mad, passionate love affair by my 30th birthday. i know, i know. a big ask. i just had a feeling this was the year. and it could be. it's only july 29.

Tuesday 29-Jul-03