my 6 month old jack russell terrier - harley - has gone missing. he is white with chocolate brown marks. he weighs about 10 pounds. his collar was off but he is microchipped. he was last seen about 9am on saturday, october 1 on linvilla orchard in media, pa. then he was gone.

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keen to redeem myself after my recent failure to support carlos spencer in the super 12 finals, i got involved in a rather complicated wager over the all blacks v. england test match on saturday. not satisfied with choosing a winner or loser, my opponent, a fierce competitor, felt compelled to choose halftime scores, final scores, scorelines, and even included the amazing prediction that the winning points would be scored by doug howlett, an unconverted try to the right corner. while i would like to say that his predilection for minutia was his undoing, it really wasn't, because the AB's lost altogether. losing, for either or both of us, meant writing poetry in honor of the game. yes, i know, poetry and rugby isn't the first thing you'd pair up. he drinks vodka drinks, too. perhaps it's an auckland thing.

here's a sample of his poem. i think this part might have been especially for me:

The play remained fierce but the penalties still flowed
But the All Blacks got one within range with 8 minutes to go!
The crowd held its breath as Carlos prepared to kick
But the ball flew WAY left and was not even close, what a dick!

Sunday 15-Jun-03

Not a lot pleasant to say about the result, though plaudits must flow to the author of such poetry.
It was a game of two halves but poetry was, without doubt, the winner on the day.
The English stifled us. Our forward pack was all over them, but our backs just couldn't break their line. Carlos looked heaps better once Marshall went off.
The English are the world's worst winners, largely because they get to do it so rarely. The text of an email from my General Manager follows: Good morning
Just a short email to say that if you missed the game or want to see it again I have a video of it. Let me know if you want to view it. Happy to make more copies if need be.
Cheers
Dave
Poor Greg and Rhys are being humiliated in London at the moment, and even the hobbits support England.

posted by: Fraser on Sunday 15-Jun-03

ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a long way to tiparary it's a long way to go! (repeat ad nausium) ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a great bloody game! Brillant!

posted by: Haynie on Monday 16-Jun-03

Haynie, if you make any references to this being the greatest day for English sport since the 1966 Soccer World Cup win, I will get on a plane and hunt you down! :-)
The Poms are, without doubt, the worst team in the world to lose to. It's not just that the English team looks like a bunch of half bred extras from Sauron's army in the LoTR, it's all the bloody floppy haired Hugh Grants that support them.
It hurts. I resort to abuse to cover my pain that our team was deservedly beaten on the day. I went into a one hour decline on Saturday night because of the result. I honestly thought I was going to cry.
Then I had a pie and a Speights and the pain went away.

posted by: Fraser on Monday 16-Jun-03

yes... twas not the best of games, but i'm trying to see the positives (after all, what else can i do?!): 1) we scored a try and they didn't 2) carlos actually managed to land a couple of nice kicks 3) our forwards seemed to match theirs pretty well 4) we're young and have a hell of a lot of potential 5) i didn't put twenty bucks on the AB's like i was thinking of doing. that last point alone is cause for celebration!

posted by: tony on Tuesday 17-Jun-03

One more positive Tony! Most over-rated All Black ever Caleb Ralph is not in the squad for the Wales game! Could this finally be the end?
Collins at No8 this week against Wales. Carter in at second five, making the New Zealand inside back combination arguably the most potent pinup double shot in world rugby and clearing up any kicking issues.
We'll beat Wales comfortably. Sadly the TAB agree.

posted by: Fraser on Tuesday 17-Jun-03

Sorry lads, I could resist. I hate England as much as the next guy...well that's not true... I love there football team...hate there fans. All my family is from Glasgow, Scotland...I was raised from birth to hate the wankers...but I couldn't pass up a chance to pour some petrol on the fire

posted by: Haynie on Thursday 19-Jun-03

you do realise by writing these things you're giving proof to the English idea of why you all hate them. That in fact you're all just a bunch of jealous cunts who see sport as there only way of getting standing on the world stage,while England is one of the 5 countries who run this earth you're just a bunch of nobodys who just try and get one over us with saying our rugby teams shite. Oh no we're so upset!!. The truth is you're just a old part of the empire of which we don't give a flying fuck what you've got to say or offer.You're countries just wasteland any fuckin way. "it's a terrible thing,envy!" get a fuckin life!

posted by: Bluefox on Monday 27-Oct-03

Actually, sport is far from our only way of getting standing on the world stage. And you seriously don't put America among the top five countries who run this earth? Give me a fucking break. If you are writing this because you think I am from NZ just because I like rugby, you are the one who needs to get a life. The All Blacks are respected all over the world.

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