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Osbournes Part III

my guilty pleasure, the osbournes, continues to amuse. tonight, ozzy headed out - family in tow - on tour.

"we're not the fucking partridge family," mused sharon, but they didn't seem far off. ozzy lay under a down comforter with his two papillon dogs licking his face. his daughter rode a go-cart around the arena as the stage was being set up. a regular domestic scene. unfortunately, 15 year old jack had to stay behind, as he is starting his own record label. the pressures of being the osbournes.

the stress of being 52 and on the road began to show. ozzy fell off a chair. bickering broke out over sharon scheduling shows too close together. ozzy said he was too old - refused to show up! but the real hell broke loose when the set designers got down to business. ozzy seemed fine with the midgets and sexy models, and even relatively psyched when the huge cannons were lowered from the ceiling. but when they began to shoot foam rather than fire, he was pissed.

"bubbles!? come on sharon! i'm the prince of fucking darkness!"

he went on to inquire as to when the male models would be out to begin stroking him off onstage. sharon, like any wife of 23 years, just ignored him and clucked her tongue. indeed, the show ended with ozzy performing at all of the regularly scheduled shows, bubbles wafting gently across the stage. and the crowd went wild.

Wednesday 03-Apr-02

This show rocks. We never miss an episode. I am hoping they put out a season DVD like the Sopranos so I can own all the glory of the Osbournes. And let it be unedited. I can't imagine how hard I will laugh without all the bleeps.

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